Lingerie Football Kiss

Between impromptu grocery trips and dropping the kids at the nearest watering hole, there often lies time in a woman's busy life where she reflects on her younger, full of life and love days. The days where men actually courted her. Now her days are filled with a husband or boyfriend whose idea of a romantic evening is crunching over peanut shells at your neighborhood steakhouse while he shifts glances at the football game and the busty waitress reaching across your table for the check. So where did it all go wrong? Was it the moment you stopped wearing your sexy lingerie because he barely looks interested? Was it the moment the kisses stopped being passionate but are now...predictable? Was it when he stopped going to the gym and let his beer belly "sneak up" on him?

Women love attention. No matter the shape, size, ethnicity or religion. We all love to be wanted and craved. Every woman wants to be the center of their husband's life. It's called the art of loving to be in love. And women have perfected the art a trillion times over. So why do women cheat on the men they adore? Well, scrape those crumbs off your blouse, put that chilly Coke aside and take notes because this could be the difference between a life of love or a life of passionate deceit...

The Office Romance

This starts off as a flirt in most cases. You get that tall, dark and handsome new hire in the cubicle next to you that has a sultry voice and even sexier smirk (even though its over email...so what?). This man floats through the office giving all the young tenderoni's a head nod and wishful glance. So how did lil' ole married you nudge yourself into this equation? It happened somewhere between you sporting that dress that you know get stares and then dropping some file folders right outside his cube. He slides his gaze silkily over your heaving bust and childbearing hips that sway towards the carpet to gather your folders. You see him. He sees you. Then he says those words you have been waiting almost six months for your husband to say "Damn girl, you know you are wearing that dress." And then you careen towards the clouds. As you relax on Cloud 9 in the middle of nowhere and everywhere, you somehow find yourself intertwined on his overstuffed couch with Martin re-runs blinking into the darkness like a strobe light. What started with a little attention and a kind compliment, turned into you tossing your marital vows to the wind like an old CD out the car window.

The Right Place, Right Time Romance

This is usually a one night stand that involves a lot of clear vodka mixed with something behind the bar sweet and fruity. You and your man have had the "broken record" argument again and you are tired of re-explaining why you want him to "insert issue here". But nonetheless, like most men, your requests/complaints/wishes are pushed to the back of his mind. It only pops up when he listens to jazz on rainy night while driving on the interstate...now how often is that, right (especially if you live in Georgia)? So here you are, in some crowded hip hop club with your girlfriends who insist that you have a good time and "not let that *explicative* get you down". As you sway your sweaty body to the latest hit by Akon, you feel strong hands grip your hips and twist you to the music. Each bass pounds into you as you wonder who this stranger is, why he chose you out of the crowd of pissed off, demon-eyed women surrounding the dance floor. You're here to have fun, right? So you dance until your feet swell inside your "cute" shoes and he finally rescues you from the other awaiting hounds to sit you at bar stool in the dimmest part of the club. He talks to you about life, love, why he's single, his dreams and goals. He shows you the interest of conversation that you lack. So you exchange numbers and the next time you meet, it's already written in the stars that you will taste the flavor of his compromise.

The Past in the Present Romance

This man has seen you with nappy pigtails and high water pants yet he still seems to hang on for the friendship you guys have. You probably have thought about what it would be like to lay with him but you can't fathom doing it without laughing the entire time. This is your protector, your guiding light and most of all, he has never tried to steal you from your man! Which by the way, has you wondering if he is secretly gay...But nonetheless, you continue listening to his response on why your husband is so lazy in your relationship. He seems to just "get" you. He explains how he treats his women, the type of man he is and always seems to comment on how you "could do so much better". On the inside, you know he means "you could do so much better with me". So finally after a long crying session that includes you dripping snot on his chenille throw, babbling about why your man just won't "insert issue here"...he kisses you slowly...and you're not laughing anymore. Actually, you are wondering "what the hell took me so long to do that?" Now, you have crossed the inevitable and invisible line of your friendship. The point of no return has been visited. Now you teeter between two men who you love and are bound to hurt. Shame on you...right?

The "Get Back" Romance

Your man comes in from a night of "hanging with the fellas", gives you a liquor stained kiss on the forehead as you sit up in bed with your arms crossed. It is 4a.m. and you know all the clubs close early. So you do the math in your head: left house at 10p, arrived at club at 11p, club closes at 2a, ride home takes 30 minutes. The hours and minutes aren't adding up and there is a good chance that the club was never visited anyway because ironically, his cellphone was "dead" all evening. So as he jumps in the steaming shower, you search his clothes to find smeared makeup on the shoulders of his shirt. Who was hugging him all night with some knockoff Covergirl makeup? Well, you know what must be done. Even though you are tired and barely able to stand up straight, you muster enough energy to slide on some dusty lingerie from the back of the dresser drawer. After pulling off a couple of dust bunnies, your man exits the bathroom dripping wet (and yes, looking sexy). The surprise on his face speaks volumes. Surprise turns to fear. He knows what you know is about to happen. You try every method known to woman kind to engage him but to no avail. There is no nookie for your cookie tonight. And you know what must be done. You know you have to get him back.

Verbally Abusive Homelife

We all have run across a man who is so insecure in himself that he finds a way to beat down his mate mentally. It couples with the old adage "misery loves company". There are men who want to let you know how overweight, unattractive and lazy you are. My question to them is...why are they with you? That speaks the truth about how they see themselves. Now, I am not a head doctor, as they used to say when I was a child. I am just a plain, average woman with plain, average problems like everyone else. But no one deserves to be treated like less than the queen or king they are. The number 2 reason women cheat on men they love is because they are too busy loving the wrong man. Just because you love this man wholeheartedly does not mean that he loves you with the same fervor. You owe it to yourself (and possibly your children) to be in a healthy relationship. Yes, you will argue and sometimes mean and hurtful things are thrown like curve balls to your head. But in the end, that man should adore you, respect you and covet you. So in a verbally abusive household, there is no reason to cheat. There is only reason to leave.

I hope the moral has not passed you by as you resume drinking your Coke which must now be room temperature. There is no valid excuse to cheat but that does not mean certain things can't lend someone to be weak and vulnerable to temptation. Women are inwardly loyal creatures that need the fuel of desire, passion and love to continue on their journey to growth and happiness. So for those with the office romance, just stop. It only ends with one or both parties being fired. So not only do you lose the man you truly love but you lose your source of income...a big no no. Always discuss your issues, don't become a "right place, right time" type of woman. It shows lack of backbone in the end. Your man will never be able to trust you again upon finding out because he will always wonder if every argument is THE argument that sends you running to the arms of another man. And furthermore, never try to get a man back for cheating on you. Your morals don't lie within whether someone else does right by you. Your morals lie within what you want to bring forth in a relationship. So in the end, ladies and gentlemen, the reason women cheat on the men they adore is because they are made vulnerable by lack of attention and desire and have fallen victim to pitying themselves rather than rectifying the situation by making a decision and actually sticking to it.